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November 11, 2017

Calling BS On…Trying To Be Good

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It’s an innocuous enough phrase that gets a lot of use wherever you will find women gathered.

“No thanks, I’m trying to be good.”

Crack open a packet of biscuits and offer them around to a group of women, and I guarantee you someone will respond with those few words.

“I’d love one, but I’m trying to be good.”

I accept that this comes from a place with aspirations of healthy eating, dieting and good intentions. I am all for these things and applaud anyone who has more will power than I in the face of sweet treats (which would be everyone really).

My issue is with what this little seemingly innocent statement implies.  That indulging in something you might like is bad. “Trying to be good” leaves no room for a grey area; having that chocolate digestive is not good, therefore it must be bad. I think there are plenty of vices in life that can be described as bad, and many attributes that fit the good label. The eating or not eating of a Toblerone triangle doesn’t fit either criteria.

And then there’s the “trying” element. Not only is it not mean enough to deprive yourself of that chocolate muffin you so badly want to taste, but you’ve told people this is a work in progress, you need to be monitored. In announcing that you’re “trying to be good” you’re admitting to a weakness, that being good is hard and something you need to work at.

Pitting yourself against your will power.

So if you truly believe that not eating that macaron is good, then just be good. Don’t tell me you’re “trying to be good” which lets me know you really would prefer to have it but aren’t letting yourself. I’ve no medals to give out.

Some of the “trying to be good” brigade have found a loophole to sometimes make use of which drives me bananas.

The “I’ll just have half” posse.

My soul weeps when I see a grown woman painstakingly cutting a cupcake/scone in half. Somewhere a fairy loses her wings when a biscuit is broken in two and half of it left back on the plate.

Is this person even “trying to be good” anymore? Are they already on the path to hell? If you’re going to give in, just give in. Even if you don’t eat the whole thing, just take it and eat what you feel like. Leaving half of it there to look sad and incomplete while it waits and hopes for another “I’ll just have half” person to pass by and delight at the discovery is pointless.

This is related to the virus that has infected many, many women.  The “will we share a dessert” affliction. I will be clear here, I don’t share desserts. I don’t need two spoons with my chocolate fudge cake. I am a grown ass woman and if I want a dessert, I want a dessert. I will let someone sample some of it, but it’s mine.

Perhaps I am rotten to the core but at least I’m all dosed up on sugar!

Please don’t think I am oblivious to the fact that sweet treats have a direct effect on health and weight. I know that we can’t all go around eating everything we want without there being repercussions. That wedge of cheesecake will have its revenge on my thighs. So if I feel that is is not a good idea to indulge at that given time, I will just simply say “no thank you” to the offer of some temptation. You don’t get bonus calories burned simply because you confessed you were “trying to be good” when you said no.

Enough already ladies, just eat the damn biscuit if you want one.