We all know mums are amazing, but sometimes we just need to remind each other of that. Roisin shared her story of PND with us.
“I put my hair in a bun today.
Big deal I hear you say but to me it is a very big deal. When I’m feeling ‘normal’ I’m the sort of person who pays to get her hair blowdried (when I can afford to) as I’m not ‘good’ with hair.
My sister who is almost seven years younger than me despaired of the older sister who couldn’t teach her to apply make-up or style her hair and she struggled into adolescence vanity alone -which in my opinion only helped to develop her interest in personal style which to which her recent wedding photographs will attest is breath taking.
While blessed with (reasonable) looks, naturally blonde hair and what I’m hoping was a goodish figure, I preferred the low maintenance approach to personal style. I could turn on the glam when needed but I preferred to pay someone else to do it better for me.
But I’m digressing, why am I so happy to have achieved my bun today? My second daughter is now almost five months old, and this time around I didn’t sink into post-natal depression as quickly as I did with my now six-year-old. These last few weeks however, have definitely been a struggle. My weight has increased, my energy levels decreased and my bed has seen me visit it a lot more often during daylight hours.
As I approach a looming milestone birthday however, I do recognise that a change is needed. Currently it’s not unusual for me to be overwhelmed by the simplest of tasks in my present state of mind. The school run is a gauntlet of insecurities as I struggle into my too tight clothes and scrape my greasy hair into a ponytail. Even speaking to check out personnel in local shops is a minefield of worry and embarrassment in case I say something stupid — what that something could be I do not know but it’s the fear of it is crippling. And while I cannot make a massive change overnight I can do something small.
Last night when I should have been catching up on some badly needed sleep, I watched hair tutorial after hair tutorial on You Tube. And while some of them made me even more intimidated by my hairdo limitations I found a few that were helpful.
So after I dropped my eldest off at school this morning and put the youngest down for a nap I slowly attempted my bun. A couple of false starts later and it’s up (pinned and hairsprayed and all in case it goes west). And while it won’t change my state of mind overnight I do feel like I’ve achieved something today.
It might not be a mountain of change but at least it’s a little mound of hope.”