The Snot Storm Cometh!

A plague on both your houses! Or just a cold. On one house. Ours. Last night I got a walloping two hours shut eye because my poor wee toddler was brewing up a snot storm.

There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing your babies unwell. There’s nothing more backbreaking than leaning into their cot stroking their wee cheek for hour long minutes at a time. And there is nothing more will breaking than reaching 3am with no sleep. It’s then that you hit the Holy Trinity of shite – Tired, Emotional, Hungry. 

Even the cold I was brewing got too tired and fecked off to find a less cadaverous body to attack!

The main problem was blockage. When she sneezed my baby unleashed an unholy primordial explosion of grey glue. Any Mum knows well how unnaturally thick and sticky this stuff is, and if it dries on anywhere…*shudder*! Ya gotta get in there before that little hand does, before it gets smeared all over like some ectoplasmic face mask.

My poor baby couldn’t figure out why she was unable to soothe and breathe at the same time. But she did figure out that if she couldn’t sleep then she’d just hang out with mummy! The final straw was when she turned to me with a massive grin and garbled the words ‘This is great craic mam, isn’t it? Look at the state of your hair! Ha ha ha haaaaa!’ Well, that’s what I heard anyway.

Back into the cot with you missy!! No, that’s not the happy end to my story. I put down another hour with my darling, up, down, in her cot, in our bed, a brief stint on the couch. And when I was just about at my wits end, Daddy strolls in and gets her to sleep within half an hour… Just. Don’t. Even.

Surprisingly I felt pretty OK this morning. I dragged my arse into work hiding under a LOT of makeup that didn’t really help if I’m honest, it just ended up highlighting my newly developed pre-40 cragginess. But when I got there and explained the suitcases under my eyes, what did they all say? ‘Ah the poor pet! Is she OK??’

Is she OK? What about me?! I’m the super hero that peeled the lids off my eyeballs this morning, got up and ready, got two kids up and ready, put on a wash, did a quick tidy, deposited said kids at respective locations and then, reverse parallel parked the shit out of my car!! I never parallel park! You should have seen it!

Anyhoo. Tonight I am ready. Calpol plug-in plugged in, mattress slightly tilted, bath, Vicks body rub, dose of nurofen and off we go. Oh, and daddy’s on duty!!