What’s In A Name?

We emigrated almost five years ago to New Zealand and now that we have two children going to school over here, we are doing our best to immerse ourselves into an unfamiliar world. But what continues to fascinate me on a regular basis are the names that New Zealanders give their offspring.

At least once a week I stop my eight-year-old or five-year-old in the middle of a story saying; “Sorry, what did you say his/her name was?” followed by; “IS THAT THEIR ACTUAL NAME? Can you spell it please?”

This morning I was dropping Zoe (my five year-old) into her classroom when her friend Baylee came over and they started chatting. I was about to leave when Zoe said: “Mom, did you know Baylees middle name is Cheese?”

“No, I don’t think it is Zoe, maybe it sounds like cheese but it’s something else”

“Yes it is, isn’t it Baylee?…tell her!”

Baylee then comes over holding her full name which has been laminated and put on the wall with all the other names and hands it me saying; “It’s because I like cheese so that’s why my middle name is Cheese.”

I thought this was quite strange so I mentioned it to another mom who said; “If you think that is weird there is a kid down the road from us whose name is TwelveA.” Excuse me??? “Yep, as in the number twelve and the letter A, TwelveA.”

At this point I am literally stunned and do not know what to say except; “No way, there is no way that two people can stare at their newborn baby and come up with a name like that and think it’s okay. Are you sure?”

“Yes! I even made him spell it because I thought I misheard – he told me he was named after his dad’s favourite engine.”

Is it a cultural thing? Is it the Kiwi way to have a favourite brand of car and name your child after it? Holden cars are popular over here, therefore Holden is a popular name. I don’t think I’ve ever met a child in Europe called Nissan or Hyundai, but in NZ this would be quite acceptable.

My son has been going to school for three years now and in that time I have heard some doozies when it comes to kids names. Here’s just a taster of the many strange names we have come across living here;

Casino, TransAM, and OH’Livia (yes that is how she spells Olivia). I could go on but we would be here all day. This gives you an idea as to how random the names can be.

I can understand why people want their children to have a name that nobody else has, but at the same time surely there has to be a point where it’s gone too far into the alternative, bizarre, world of weird names?

Do people forget that these smallies will grow up and have to exist in an adult world? What if TwelveA wants to be a politician? Will anyone ever take TwelveA seriously?

There is a boy in my son’s year called Diablo – all they had to do was Google that name to see that it means the devil in Spanish. Surely somebody could have informed them of this when they were deciding on a name!

What if Diablo ever goes travelling to Europe? Can you imagine him introducing himself to Spaniards? Awkward!

I have a sister called Aoife and New Zealanders find that absolutely hilarious, but because I grew up surrounded by Irish names, I don’t find them strange. It is funny watching peoples faces when I mention a Caoimhe or a Niamh or Caitriona, they think it’s bizarre. Kiwis spell names phonetically; for example one of Zoe’s friends is called Tayla, that’s how Taylor is pronounced with a Kiwi accent so that’s how it is spelled.

And just when I thought I had heard it all, my friend texted me to say her five-year-old had just started school and there are two sisters in her class called Atlantis-City and Miami Te Moni….I kid you not!!!!