1. First and foremost, I’m happier. I wasn’t unhappy before but since becoming a mother I’ve had an overwhelming sense of complete and utter contentment, and that’s pretty incredible.
2. Nothing disgusts me. Spending so much time in close proximity to snot, spit-up and poop of varying shades and consistencies can strengthen even the most delicate of stomachs.
3. I’m less of a push-over. No longer do I simply tut while casting my eyes to the heavens when someone cuts in front of me in a queue. They’re not just cutting in front of me any more, but also my girls. There’s nothing like entertaining a toddler and a baby in a queue and I’ll be damned if anyone, ANYONE, is going to extend that time for me. I still err on the side of passive along the aggression scale, and simply gather up my girls and myself, shuffle around the intruder and take our rightful spot ahead of the invading queue cutter. Simple yet effective.
4. I no longer need everything to be ‘just-so’ to watch the latest episode of my favourite TV show. No more feet up, glass of wine, freshly popped popcorn, blazing fire (no matter the season). These days the optimal viewing time is anytime the girls don’t actively need me and an episode can take an entire day viewed on anything from the TV right down to my iPhone.
5. I love Disney. Apologies, let me rephrase. I love Disney even more. There is the perfect Disney movie for every emotion, mood and relevant life lesson for a toddler (and parent).
6. I no longer use curse words and I visibly cringe when anyone around me does. It’s almost a shame because I was darn-tooting good at incorporating swear words into the most mundane of sentences. I can still spell a swear word faster than anyone I know – yup, still got it.
7. I don’t sleep in – ever. And I resent all the times I was berated as a teenager for sleeping in until the late afternoon. I should have been able to enjoy those lie-ins in peace! If I had known what was in store for me with regards sleeping in when I became a mother, I would have happily slept right through some weekends.
8. I eat fast – super fast. There just isn’t the same time to savour food. Honestly, this was one of the most difficult things I found to adjust to when I became a mother. I was a slow eater – painfully slow for anyone I shared a dining table with or those waiting on their next course in a restaurant. Nowadays I’ve eaten, done a load of washing and cleaned the oven before most people have cleared their plate.
9. I’m patient. I’m so incredibly patient. I would happily sit and listen to my little girl as she tells me over and over about the adventures her baby doll, small Sofia figurine and talking Moana go on together. I’ll listen and love every second. I’ll also wait for a full ten minutes while she puts on her shoes, realises they’re on the wrong feet and starts the whole process over. A far cry from the woman who, in an attempt to speed things along, would keep finishing the sentences of those telling less than intriguing stories. (Love you really though Gub).