If I Die Before I Wake... - The M Word

If I Die Before I Wake…

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Dear Girls,

You will spend a mini lifetime with me, inside and out, but you will never fully know your Mother. Believe it or not, there was a time before you came along when I was young, single, foolish, in love, heartbroken, impressionable!

So if I die before I wake, here are ten things you never knew about your mother:


  • I loved being barefoot as a child. I know, I know, I constantly tell you to put on socks/shoes/slippers or you’ll ‘get sick’. Honestly? You won’t. Being barefoot rocks! (Until you stand on something).


  • The worst nosebleed I ever had was when I was 8 years old and your aunty punched me in the face. On the flip side though, she once caught me at the bottom of the stairs after I had tumbled all the way down. I guess they cancel each other out.


  • When I get so mad at you that I have to turn away, it’s usually because I’m laughing. I’m sorry! It’s just that now and again, parenting becomes the ridiculous, like when you go crazy because I put a dress on your Ken doll’s head or when you got stuck in that box you’d sat in! If us parents can’t have a laugh sometimes, we would go mental.


  • When I was 6 I jumped off a gym horse and sprained my ankle. Your Grandma bought me a pair of red flip flops to cheer me up. They had a footprint on the insole, and red and white stripy straps – deadly! Your aunty got a matching blue pair. Grandma often did that, dressed us like twins even though we clearly weren’t – it was kind of an 80’s thing. You can have a proper giggle at the photos when you’re older.


  • I didn’t always look like this!


  • Family legend has it that I was weaned on Baileys. Ah how different parenting was in the 80’s! I still adore Baileys, a love that has lasted a lifetime. It has no equal.


  • Christmas, Easter and Halloween are my favorite holidays because I can either eat a shit tonne of chocolate without being guilty of double standards, or I can dress you in ridiculous outfits for a laugh.


  • I’ve been in cars and on the backs of motorbikes with boys driving too fast; if you EVER, I will kill you!! We believe we are indestructible when we’re young. We are not.


  • I have never loved anything in my life as much as I love you. Including your Dad. Don’t tell him that, he’ll only get a cob on…


  • I have jumped out of a plane, scaled mountains and white water rafted crazy rapids. I’ve been a hair’s breadth away from crocodiles, snakes and killer spiders. I’ve been lost in foreign lands.


But I can honestly say the scariest thing I’ve ever done is raising you two!!



Mum xxx


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