Is it just me? But since becoming a mum my brain has turned to utter mush. The day we walked in the front door with our new arrival, my IQ walked out the back with a cheery wave goodbye.
Awkwardly, this doesn’t appear to have happened to my husband who will often let my mouth farts hang in the air for a minute to see if I wish to retract them or pretend they never happened.
I could accept the whole baby brain thing while I was pregnant, my body was growing a tiny human. Just to leave the house wearing matching shoes was an achievement then. But for it to still be ever present nearly four years later is just unfair! Is there such thing as toddler brain? Or preschooler brain??
Ask me for the minutiae of my daughter’s first bowel movement, no prob! I could even do you a detailed sketch to accompany it. Ask me what I did yesterday? Um…gimme a sec…
This morning is a perfect example. I put on a wash and as the drum slowly started off on its cycle my girl pipes up ‘Mum why is the baby monitor in there?’ Fup!! A silly thing to happen, but what really bothered me was I couldn’t for the life of me remember picking the damn thing up! I know I did, because it was on the mantelpiece. So now I’m sitting here sipping my coffee listening to the thump thump on the glass door as it merrily spins round, praying it will still work in an hour and fifty minutes time!
I’m being flippant, but honestly, there are times when I genuinely find these brain lapses a bit upsetting. Working the odd day here and there over the last few years, I’ve struggled with getting my brain to switch gears. Just as I got into the swing of work I was off again for another few months, back to nappies and baby talk. Now that I work a regular two day week I’m definitely finding my feet but there are still those odd mouth-hanging-open-waiting-for-the-brain-to-kick-in moments. I find myself constantly apologising to my truly lovely colleagues who thankfully get it, they are nearly all mums themselves. I am lucky. I wonder if I would be afforded the same patience in another job?
Sometimes I fear serious adult conversation. If someone were to approach me to discuss Syria I would probably laugh loudly, panic and start singing the cbeebies bedtime song, of which I can remember all the words no problem!! I feel like saying ‘Look, I’m not really thick, I just had a few babies (several years ago) who appear to have leached my brain cells for some evolutionary reason I can’t explain’.
Maybe I’m missing a trick here. Maybe I should start immersing myself in fish oils or spend hours pouring over tiny sudoku books. But honestly? I don’t have the time! Or I’d forget to do it… I guess for now I’ll muddle on and hopefully someday soon I will hear a knock at the door and find my IQ standing there a little red faced, a little ashamed for leaving me, but glad to be home!
The monitor is broken by the way…