You could call it a shit day…
It was one of those days at the start of motherhood where you’re a little all over the place. My fiancé had gone back to work and I had to battle parenthood alone for those hours while he was away. I was so frightened. I was now responsible for this little tiny bundle. It was my job to protect her and keep her safe. When you become a mother you find a new found respect for all the single mothers out there and the incredibly difficult job they do daily. So kudos to you if you’re single and reading this.
I didn’t sleep the night before he went back to work. I couldn’t. I tried and failed, but it had to be done.
The bills had to be paid.
My little girl was two weeks old. I was still really nervous changing her nappy as every time I did she would scream and it would send me into a fit of panic.
When people would call over at the start, I would ask them to leave so I could change her nappy as I was still not comfortable doing so with people around! Who knew such a small task would take some getting used to? I know, right?
My friend called round for a cuppa, we had a great chat. She cleaned my dishes and told me everything I wanted to hear. She made me feel so good that day and I really enjoyed her company. It made the day go quicker as my fiancé was still at work. Now mind you, I hadn’t showered that day as there was no time, but she was still full of compliments.
Just what I needed. A good friend, a cuppa and of course a bar of chocolate.
Well, this same day not long after my friend left, it was time to change Kyah’s nappy, as per usual she was screaming crying. I quickly tried to get her wiped down and clean and get the Sudocrem on her ASAP before we both lost it. I was in a rush and she was wriggling to get me to stop. I was sweating. I just wanted to pick her up and cuddle her to get more of those newborn cuddles. So there I was wiping away, quickly, I rubbed my sweaty forehead when the doorbell rang. I put the Sudocrem on, closed up her nappy and ran to the front door to see who was there.
I was greeted by my lovely postman with the days post. The baby was still crying as she needed a bit of TLC after the ‘horrific ordeal’ of getting her nappy changed.
The postman laughed and said ‘Oh tough day?’ I just smiled, ‘you have no idea!
I went back to my sitting room to cuddle up on the couch with my baba, so we could finally enjoy the day again, only to catch a glimpse of myself in the sitting room mirror. There it was… the explanation as to why the postman made a comment on me having a bad day.
I had a lump of poo on my forehead. I had no clue, I couldn’t even smell it, but boy could I see it!
That embarrassment will live with me forever and I’m sure my postman has told that story many a time himself.
I mean isn’t that motherhood? Embarrassing yourself daily because you’re in a rush and you’re trying to do everything in a hurry. I hope one day my brain will start to function again like it did pre-baby. Luckily to this day I’ve still managed to avoid that postman!
Motherhood… When you lose your dignity in labour and never get it back.