Living With... Mixed Feelings Towards Christmas - The M Word

Living With… Mixed Feelings Towards Christmas

So What IS In A Mother’s Handbag?
December 5, 2018
Did Anyone Else Panic When They Were Told They Were Having A Boy?
December 6, 2018

Christmas is coming and I’m not sure how I feel about it

My father in law passed away earlier this year. More about that here. So, it’s our first Christmas without him.

My husband is an only child. For the last few years it’s just been us and my parents in law for Christmas. This year he will be missed hugely.Not only that but my mother in law was admitted to hospital seven weeks ago. She spent the first two weeks in Intensive care. We were afraid we would lose her too.

She is improving but still weak. She might not be well enough to come home for Christmas.So our Christmas could be spent travelling to visit her. But at least she’s still here to visit so I have to be positive.

If it wasn’t for the children, I think we would just forget Christmas altogether.

Now we are in December and I have absolutely nothing done. I’m not sure where I’m going to get the time to get everything done in between work, three small children and hospital visits.

But I’m sure it will all come together somehow. It has to.

On top of that I have never cooked a turkey! Am I supposed to have ordered one by now?!! Help!! It’s one of those moments when I think ‘Where’s Mammy’ and then I realise I AM the Mammy!! I brought the children to the toy shop to try get some ideas of what they like. And their excitement is catching!!

They even managed to convince me to get some stuff for now, some crayons and colouring books. Though my four-year-old kept trying to tell me to bring home a big toy for now mammy. Sorry but no!

I’ve told them that Santa can’t get everything. And some things will be from Mammy and Daddy. Santa has a lot of children to give to after all and can’t give a lot to all the children.

So maybe Christmas won’t be so bad after all. I just need a few extra hours in the days between now and then! I saw the Late Late Toy Show and I was bawling at the end of it. Anyone else see it? It really put things into perspective. Thank God it’s not one of the children in hospital. They were such amazing children. So glad it all turned out OK for them in the end. And now they have a holiday of a lifetime to look forward to.

I know our children will keep us going no matter what happens. Maybe my mother in law will get home even if just for a few hours.

I can’t wait to see the children’s excitement. Once we are together that’s all that matters.

Eimear Lawler
Eimear Lawler
I’m a mammy to three children aged five and under. Life’s a little crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I work part time as an accountant and I stay at home the rest of the time with my children. Getting back into my hobbies of reading and writing and loving it.