Some People Just Instinctively Know How To Flirt

Some People Just Instinctively Know How To Flirt

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Ok. A terrible mistimed topic given the #MeToo movement. But hear me out.

The other day, I spoke to a friend of a friend. (It is always the way, isn’t it? It’s never just a friend!) Connections aside, she told me that her friend was still single and had given up hope of ever meeting anyone in the real, non-virtual world and had finally considered, after years of rebellion, online dating.

She had met lots of nice guys, but none of them every seemed like they were interested in her. Yet she couldn’t give off the vibes that she might be interested in them.

‘I have it!’ I declared. ‘She is not able to flirt!’

Now flirting, a bit like possessing a musical ear or an ability to curve a ball in the back of a net, is a type of intelligence that some people just have. They just instinctively know how to flirt, it doesn’t feel like an effort, and they know how to flirt and in which situations the flirting will be most appreciated, and how to turn up or down the volume of their flirtiness, so to speak.

A true flirt is extremely skilled at not making it look like they are actually flirting. They skirt a beautiful line between desperation, interest and coquettishness.

They are never sleezy but possess a kind of openness that makes the other person feel both wanted and also, intrigued in finding out more. All potential partners want to be made feel like they are important, that they are needed, right? And as Maya Angelou once said, we forget what people said, but we remember how they made us feel.

A gifted flirt (a consummate professional flirter) once told me she finds it impossible to believe people find it hard to meet potential partners. Almost every Saturday night she uses the same strategy that she says works like a dream!

Picture scene. She is in a typical pub. Goes outside for a cigarette, earnestly asking for a light for her cigarette, yet locking eyes with the offerer. ‘Thank so much, gosh, it’s warm here with those heaters’, look away, puff a cigarette and make it look like you are nonchalant. He comes back with a response and whatever it is you laugh enthusiastically, while also looking away quickly. And bingo! You’re in.

I think there should be a forum for creating flirting classes – this would go a long way to helping people make those connections. Flirting diplomas anyone?

Fionnaigh O'Connor
Fionnaigh O'Connor
Galway girl, adopted Dubliner, online magazine contributor, literacy teacher, mother of one darling, sporty daughter and identical boys who are not at all creepy in The Shining sort of way.