We Need To Talk About Postman Pat
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November 18, 2018
A sleep deprived rant about Postman Pat and his inability to do his job properly has gone viral.
Have a read and see if you agree if the bumbling fool should have been fired ages ago.
I don’t mean to be needlessly controversial but we need to talk about Postman Pat. That guy is utterly incompetent & I’m so sick of his bullshit. Any other job & he’d be sacked. He delivers like one parcel a day. ONE! And it takes him all day, even when he uses one of the
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
surprising number of vehicles available to him, the van, the boat, the helicopter?! How is it cost effective to deliver one parcel in a helicopter? Ben, the Depot Manager is the most patient man in the whole world. Every day he calls Pat on his mobile & EVERY DAY Pat answers…
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
“Special Delivery Service, Pat Clifton speaking” & not once has Ben ever said “Pat, you have caller ID mate, you know it’s me, WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD IT BE PAT?!”
Also, every day Ben clearly asks “How soon can you get here?” & again, Every. Single. Day. Pat answers cheerfully— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
“I’m on my way!” THAT DOESN’T ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION PAT!! He clearly asked WHEN you’d arrive Pat!! Yesterday he delivered a load of crockery, it wasn’t wrapped or boxed so his plan was ‘to drive slowly’. Guess what happened, yep, he broke a plate. Inevitable Pat!! Today he
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
delivered an unsealed bee hive. UNSEALED! Did any of the bees escape? Of course they fucking did! ALL of them. Why hasn’t he been sacked?! Why?! I have some theories but I’ll save them for my full exposé on this maniac. One week he actually got his head stuck in a tree (below).
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
Alf was in like a shot of course as you can see. I don’t blame Pat for that obviously, that’s on Alf, but Jesus Pat, how do you get yourself in these ridiculous situations? Is he trying to get himself sacked? He must be. The whole village had to get him out, I suspect they’re pic.twitter.com/fAFuQw4kvC
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
absolutely sick of his shit too. You can tell by their faces. He should be going through the Royal Mail disciplinary process & I can’t believe HR haven’t forced Ben’s hand & given him a written warning at least. pic.twitter.com/iw5Xy5VBdM
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
It is at this point the author mentions he has only had three hours sleep.
