I know all the experts say that children do better if they are at home with a parent and in fairness I’ve stayed at home for about nine months on each child. But to be honest I was delighted to go back to work.
I love my kids and since my second arrived I’ve reduced my hours and only work a four day week at the moment, but I really enjoy what I do and I don’t want to be at home full time. Maybe you think I’m a bad mother for admitting that. But I don’t want to be with my kids all day every day, but honestly I just couldn’t do it.
First let me say I have nothing but admiration for the men and women who stay at home and I often stare in awe of them.
It’s just so not for me.
I don’t do a particularly interesting job, but it’s interesting to me and I really like my colleagues, so to give that up, even for a couple of years, seems mad to me. I don’t have the patience to deal with the kids all day, hell even after my one day off a week I’m ready to kill them. I could use the excuse that we can’t afford to live of one wage (we probably could at a big stretch) but why lie?
I WANT to work. What really surprised me is that in 2018 there is still people who judge me for working!
Would you not even go part-time?
I’ve been asked that so many times and not just from stay at home parents. Funnily enough my male friends with kids have never been asked this, shocking, I know. To be fair if we could well afford for one of us to be home, it would be my husband I’d be recommending. He’s so much better at being a stay at home parent. The kids would love it, whereas I’d be too concerned with cleaning and doing chores to make it fun. He used to be at home one day a week with Daisy and I’d arrive home to find she could count to ten in Spanish or Dutch. Or had built a fort and had an indoor adventure.
As far as I’m concerned, I’ve made enough sacrifices regarding my career already. I’ve reduced my hours, I’ve resisted going for promotions because I know I’d have to go back to full time. I’m not about to give it up totally.
There will be people who say I’m selfish and I shouldn’t have had kids if I didn’t want to make sacrifices, but to those I say… Would you say that if I was a man? No, you wouldn’t because women are expected to want to give their lives up for their kids.
I’m so sick of people presuming I only work because I have to financially. I work because I love it and I’m good at it. So keep your judgement for someone who cares.