In the last year and a half, the following line has been said to me on too many occasions to remember; it’s the words: I’m not the type of person to……
I now hate to hear these words in a conversation. It’s become clear to me that these words are only ever used when the person that utters them is clearly judging me or another poor person and our decisions as a parent.
I never saw myself as a stay at home mom but I am.
I do a lot of other things but I don’t advertise them to many people, like my writing for example, or the small business I work on for myself and my husband. So why oh why does it bother me so much when another woman utters the words “You’rer staying at home with the kids, Oh I am just not the type of person to do that” or worse the words “stay at home with the kids, I am just not the type of person to….. sit at home all day and do nothing” (seriously a woman said this to me, & yes she is still alive and walking).
Maybe its my naivety, maybe its the way I was reared, or maybe I just expect too much from other woman, but I do expect more from other woman. I say woman because I don’t recall one man in all this time who has commented on my new status. I have only ever worked with men and not even my boss who thought I only had balls until I had babies commented on my resignation, only to wish me luck, & boy do I need it.
I had a good job, I had a good salary, I held a lot of responsibility in all my roles in the past ten years. I see myself at least for some part of every day as a smart, educated & confident woman. However, I really feel that no matter who you are, no matter how confident you are, try encountering some of the judgements been handed out by the women who return to work & you better have your big girl pants on.
Before I am shut down with a wave of back lash from the women who go out to work, I would like to say I am not saying all women who go out to work are like this, just some. On the counter side I have heard plenty of the stay at home moms saying things to women returning to work that would turn peoples blood cold & give even the most stead fast person a sleepless night.
I just want to be clear, I don’t care if you stay at home or why you stay at home. I don’t care if you go to work or why you to work. I just want you to behave in a fashion that is becoming of a woman that is of this time. We are lucky to be some of the most educated woman in the world, now can we behave as such. I’m delighted you have an opinion, I’m delighted you want to share it, but whether your leaning in or leaning out, filter it it, before you leave it out.